I have suppressed myself for a while now, but don't know why it does not go away. In fact, it is growing stronger and stronger. Why do I have this feeling? Is it because I cannot bear the pain anymore of being by myself now? Seriously, this is killing me when I'm trying to hold back and it wants to be released. I just... not that I don't want a relationship. I do, I really do want one. But I just don't know why I'm not willingly to try even just a little. Maybe scared I'll end up like last time?
Seriously, where is that girl? I want to find her...
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