My goal

I have decided. I will study much harder than before. I see that difference between us and the fact that she is trying much harder than I'm. I want to study just as much as she is so I can feel that I can match her. Only she can make me have that kind of motivation and I have said it before; My life is hers.

Another thing is that I'll force myself to stop something. I don't think I'm being fair to her. she is a good girl and definitely need to be stayed that way. It feels like I'm slowly tainting her, taking away her innocence. Whether she is meeting my friends or explaining something to her which she doesn't understand. It feels like I'm the cause of taking her innocence. I really dislike that feeling. So I have also try to restrict myself from doing anymore things which will taint her. Because I love her.

Too Nice

She is a really nice girl. Sometimes she doesn't want me to stay up late so she says she is tired. After I go offline, she stays online to continue her  work. I know know she is doing it for both of our own goods; so I'm willing to listen to her. She is too nice and that's why I love her, I really do.

Another dream of mine went true today. Watching something with my girlfriend sure does feel comfortable. Normally it would be just watching them by myself, until I met her. If it's with her, I think I can achieve all those dream I have in mind anytime.

New songs

Lately, I have been adding new songs into the playlist. I think they are good songs. It's good to have some new change right? Ever since I met her, I have become more honest and is able to express my true self more. I know now how to love people and things from her influence. It hard to make the first step but when you realize you have made that first step, you're one step closer towards your destination. I'm the new person now thanks to her... I owe her alot, so I'll pay her with my love.

Love this amv!

I really enjoyed watching this amv. I would share this on fb or post this on AUA but I think it's really not my personality to post an amv like this. So this is the best place to upload it. I find it really cute! I give credits for some of the kissing scenes the person chose. ( scroll down to pause the blog music first)

Facebook

At one stage, I actually want to get rid of my fb. I tired of people saying rubbish to me. I could make so many comebacks but then they will tell me to chill and it's a joke. Well, their jokes aren't funny to me anyways, which is why I won't even bother making a reply. The only reason I stayed on fb is because of my gf. She is very nice to me and everyday, I go on just to see her.

This is also why I'm scared when she begins to know more of my friends. I'm scared that one day, she will walk closer and closer to my friend circle and will make our relationship further and further. I think I'm very selfish. However, I know there is a limit of being selfish so that is why i kept everything to myself. Don't be mistaken, I'm not trying to prevent her from making new friends but maybe I'm just scared she will become really friendly with them and will forget about me after that. After all, I'd hate to experience being lonely again.

Cold

I don't want to admit but I couldn't bear it. I kind of had a bet with my gf that I can deactivate my fb account; I really regretted it now. That means I can't see her anymore, even though I was just joking around but I realized it's killing me. As I was pretending to quit, my heart begins to hurt. I felt like I'm being stabbed repeatedly and I don't like this feeling. Now my heart is aching really badly and I feels like I'm dying slowly. Guess I really need her to live on~~~

Feeling

On the way back home from my date with my Gf, she offered to take me home, so her Mum along with her siblings drove me back home. What a nice family! They're so nice! But that is not the point of this post, so continue on~~

Well, I don't know. I just felt a little bit guilty I guess. When I'm feeling very happy from my relationship and seeing other people being sad from theirs. I feel really bad for being happy myself. If you know what I mean~  I sometimes feel that I'm selfish because of that~

My gf asked me what is wrong during the trip. I couldn't bring myself to say it because I don't her to think it is her fault for making me all depressed. Of course, i wasn't but I was just thinking about this in my mind.